Jennifer Blogs

Pizza with my princess

2006-04-30T09:05:00.000-07:00

Two weeks ago I took my fifteen year old daughter to Rome , Italy. ......it was an amazing trip.....hold on I need a better adjective here......it was a amazing trip. It was six full days of just hanging with my little princess.....the sistene chapel, the colliseum, the Spanish steps, trevi fountain, shopping, and tons of pizza. But the best part of those six days was what I learned. Sure I learned about Roman art and arcitecture...that was nice. But I REALLY LEARNED.....from my daughter. I learned what a beautiful spirit she has, I learned how easy going she is, I learned how compassionate thoughtful and totally kind she is, I learned forgivness.....maybe I haven't been a total failure up as a mother....eggh probably have been. I learned what a "perfect day is"......a perfect day is hanging out with someone you love and catching a glimpse of their soul and all the potential that it holds. Both Courtney and I threw coins into the Trevi Fountain to make a wish. My wish is that I can continue learning from my kids......her wish...hmm...she probably wished she could drink wine in the states.....or that her mom wasn't such a weirdo.

Birthdays and Bugs

2006-03-11T13:00:00.000-08:00

I just had a birthday and I just got my house tented for termites all in the same week. On my birthday I examined what postive things I could do to change my life...and when I tented the house I was killling all the bugs that eating away at the foundation. I hated the hassle of getting my house tented you have to wrap up all the food and put it in poison proof bags. As I was doing this I was embarrassed by the waste...."why do I have 13 hald empty boxes of cereal?" " I thought only my grandma had stuff in the back of the fridge that expired during the Clinton administration...yuck" Then of course you and your family have to vacate the house and stay in a hotel for a few days. Sounds fun....neah. We did this on a school day so instead of having four kids fighting about homework and lunches in my house...I had four kids fighting in a Holiday Inn in Toluca Lake. Not at all relaxing. We got back in our house on Wednesday and on Thursday was my birthday. I like birthdays because I like the idea of being able to continually improve...to set new goals....and milestones help you do this. The only problem is with people you can't kill all the bugs at once...you have to go "bug by bug" So I have decided this year to not kill my self with the poison of self doubt...but to celebrate the tent coming off and my new foundation.

Twelve Sentences to Describe My Life

2005-11-04T18:17:00.000-08:00

1) I've been breathing in this flesh for 39 years, yet everyday I am in search of new ways to live. 2) Salina, Kansas 67401 3) Being alone in a large family fueled my desire for adventure ......vacationing in a Winnebago fueled my desire to fly. 4) Christmas mornings with people I love always spells sweet redemption. 5) Perhaps he is my guardian angel.....or maybe he is totally wrong for me....but today I will continue down this path. 6)I love being a mother, I love the smell of dirty sunshine when I put my kids to bed. 7)Being a mother leaves my pocketbook empty, but when I do laundry and see what falls out of their pockets I have to laugh and my love bank is full. 8)The beauty of the human spirit leaves me breathless. 9)I know heart wrenching pain, but my eternally hopeful mind has helped me forget what it feels like. 10) I love to try on other people's shoes and walk around in them for a while....thank you God for giving me empathy. 11) Choked, strangled....I am suffocating in inadequacy. 12) Blessed, running, chasing, crying, loving, sexual, spiritual, mother, woman, child.

CAT FIGHT IN BAHRAIN

2005-10-02T12:46:00.000-07:00

Two weeks ago I was in the beautiful, INCREDIBLY HOT, almost western, middle eastern country of Bahrain. It was great. I love traveling and seeing new parts of the world. I did two comedy shows at the naval base, ate great food, had a few drinks , met new friends, and went shopping for jewelry...a perfect trip. On our last night in Bahrain the our flight was delayed until 4:20 a.m , so the other comic and I went to the coffee shop in the hotel at 2 a.m to pass time until our ride to the airport. We ordered a sandwich and a couple of beers....little did we know we had front row seats to "dinner and a show". A few minutes after we sat down two incredibly beautiful Arab women dressed very modern started yelling at one another. A few seconds later the woman in white threw a plate across the restaurant..she then came closer to her target ( her target was seated at the table behind mine) the woman in white stood just in front of my table yelling over my head to the woman in pink seated behind me. I guess the woman in pink had enough of this woman's insults, because as I looked over my shoulder the woman in pink picked up a steak knife off the table and threw it...over my head towards the woman in white. The woman in white immediately fled the coffee shop...therefore crowning the woman in pink "coffee shop queen". I sat there for a momnet absorbing what I had witnessed...interesting, but I had to know what happened..all the yelling had been in local tongue...I was clueless. So I got up and went to speak to the knife welding woman in pink. I said "So what happened? What were you fighting about?" And in perfect English she answered me "that woman is a CRAZY" Oh. You know if we threw knives at every crazy woman in America...there would be a world-wide shortage of cutlery. Another lesson learned from the birthplace of civilization...so to speak.

Decide to have a good day

2005-09-01T12:53:00.000-07:00

I think today and everyday are GREAT days to count your blessings. But this is something I too often forget to do. Sure I should be thankful that the sun is shining and that I have a roof over my head...that wasn't blown away by a hurricaine. But instead of being thankful...sometimes I forget and complain about how it has been TOO hot all summer. Wahwahwah.....I sound like one of my kids. I know it's not New Years...but I think it's a good time to decide again to count my blessings. Somedays the blessings are easy see other days the blessings are about as hard to find as virgin preist. But I am going to smile and be happy anyway. Please keep your hearts open to all the people suffering in the world and lend them a helping hand. Keep them in your prayers. Decide to have a good day.

10 tips to help fight off end-of-summer lunacy

2005-08-16T07:49:00.000-07:00

Do you fear that summer is never going to end? Me too!!! Here are 10 tips to get you thru the last two weeks of summer. 1) Earplugs. 2)Video Games are an acceptable babysitter. 3)Take two Margaritas...as needed...repeat if necessary 4)Don't beat yourself up over all the things you do wrong as a parent...it's too late...your kids are already going to need therapy. 5)To a Mom the first day of school IS better than Christmas....plan a party...no kids please. 6)Back-to-School shopping does create a strange Euphoria for the parent...embrace it. 7)Start signing your kids up for camp...for next summer...it will give you something to look forward too. 8)There is reason people think the number 13 is unlucky....they have met a 13 year-old....if you have a 13 year old please refer to tips 1-4 as often as necessary. 9)Pizza...again. 10) Kiss you kids everynight, soon they will be on their own...and maybe tomorrow they will behave....probably not.

The dangers of eighties music, lip gloss , and aqua net

2005-08-14T10:43:00.000-07:00

My daughter is 14 and when I look at her I am worried. Why? Because I remember what 14 is like.....the memory of my first boyfriend tops my concerns it went something like this... "I said a hip-hop ,a hippity the hop, a hip hip hoppin you don't stop rockin to rhythm of the boogie to the beat" was playing on my stereo in my pink bedroom with Shawn Cassidy posters, and swim team ribbons on the wall. Furnishings courtesy of Sears catalog. My best friend Shelly was in the white and blue bathroom feathering her hair. I was standing in a towel with WAY to much eyeliner on trying to decide which pair of painters pants to wear. I went with the yellow painters pants with a purple and yellow smock top. I doused myself with perfume from Key Rexall Drug..it was called "Touche" and went into the bathroom to feather my hair and apply Bonnie Bell lip-gloss. Tonight was the big dance at Oakdale Park. It was an end of summer celebration with the kids from both High Schools...South and Central...as well as the Catholic school Sacred Heart. I was going to be a Freshman in High School in a couple of weeks. Needless to say I knew it all.....I had a car for God's sake...well use of a car . Yes...at age fourteen I was already "world weary" from all my expertise. Shelly , my cousin Gracie, Kim, Darcy, Linda, Sophie, Jill and I all arrived to Oakdale Park in my Grandma Tula's white cougar with gold trim. Seat belts were not the thing back then...the thing was to cram as many people into a car as possible. It was a hot muggy Midwestern night. The mosquitoes were devouring my shiny teenage skin. My hair got a little moist from the air but it all moved in one piece...thanks to Aqua Net. As we walked toward the outside dance floor ( an ice-skating rink in the winter) my heart started pounding. High School boys.....I'VE ARRIVED. 38 Special, Triumph, April Wine, REO Speedwagon they all blared out of the DJ's cheap speakers. I saw my friend Chris, his brother Curt and...OH MY GOD JEFF . Jeff was 15 year old perfection. Tall, slim, green eyes, wearing a pink IZOD and 501's. He had a tiny scar by his left eye from a baseball injury..... I found this very hot. I was mesmorized by Jeff...older man...he was going to be a sophomore. He was a funny , cute, injured athlete...talking to me.!!! The song "Remenicising" came on...a slow dance. I didn't dare move. Would he ask me to dance? He did. We danced two songs and Jeff moved his hand from my shoulders to my waist, to my butt. And it was then there that I knew I would someday be "Mrs. Jeff" Well, I didn't marry Jeff ...in fact I haven't seen him since my freshamn year of college. But he left his mark on me. The mark of young first love. Thank God the mark Jeff left leaves me smiling instead of scared inside. But that is the worry. Which is why I absolutely forbid my daughter to listen to eighties music...Too dangerous. Aqua Net and Bonnie Bell lip-gloss also too dangerous.

I want to be the kind of woman strangers think I am

2005-08-07T18:59:00.000-07:00

Today as I was minding my own business having a lazy Sunday afternoon. Two total strangers walk into my house and start looking around. They are half-way down the hallway looking into the back bed room before I even notice them . "Excuse me" I say in a panic " can I help you?" "Oh, we are just looking around " say the husband and wife duo. "I think you might be in the wrong house....who are you looking for?" I say "Well, isn't this house for sell?" says the blond woman . "Oh....you want the house five doors down" I walk the couple outside and point them in the right direction. I am mortified about what these strangers, these trespassers must think of me. My house is a mess. Laundry everywhere. Dishes in the sink. The boys room looks like my children don't even have parents and that they are encouraged to store everything on the floor. My daughters room has a scent all of it's own. It's combination of cheap incense purchased on the boardwalk in Venice ( California that is), flaming hot chettoes, and stale diet coke. UGGH I thought. I should have cleaned the house for the trespassing strangers. Why? You may ask? Because I want to be the kind of woman strangers think I am. Reality is oh so messy.

Permanent Insanity

2005-08-05T07:55:00.000-07:00

Summer. Sure I enjoy the summer like everyone else. I love swimming in the back yard, having friends over for a barbecue, taking my kids to the beach, and a nice summer sunset. But let's get real. If you have kids and I have four them...Summer provides PERMANENT INSANITY. There is nothing temporary about the fragile grasp you have on normalcy. GONE....Are the long strolls on the beaches, the lazy afternoons on the front porch....and you just forget about skinny dipping and a nooner. Instead a real summer with children consists of this.......non-stop fighting for the XBOX, your youngest child getting carsick and throwing up in your brand new car, skate board injuries that require crutches ...a cast....and more trips to the doctor, and 27,000 children in your home at all times.....because apparently all of your kids friends are homeless and need to stay the night at your house....and eat every morsel of food in the kitchen...including the "emergency chubby hubby ice cream" you have carefully hidden in the freezer. So the next time your friend complains that "my kids are making me temporarily crazy" call her on it. There is nothing temporary about the fragile state in which our children leave us. Sure we love them and yes they are a blessing. But let's call a spade a spade Parenting= Permanent Insanity. If you doubt me...take a nice long look at your parents.